Life at Shikon High: School of Love and Wizardry
by nopplespitrol
Summary: Life is hard at High School. Kagome knows this all too well. Will she find someone who she can confide in?


Life At Shikon High School for Witchcraft and Chibiry

A satire of AU high school fics. And general fic customs. Because I read too much fanfiction. Yes I do.

Zee Disclaymerr

Zee Llama: Not that I have anything against them, no I'm guilty of reading quite a few back in my dark Kikyo hating days. But those are gone now, and my hatred has been replaced with a sick obsession and a twisted love so strong that I would pr---ahem--well all you need to know is that I don't own Inuyasha, and it's probably a very good thing that I don't. -leers at Kikyo-

Kikyo: you sicken me.

Llama: you'll learn to like me soon enough -emits a low murmuring chuckle-

Kikyo: ...

Naraku: Hi kikyo, remember when I totally wrecked your life, ku ku ku?

Kikyo: Not now, please. -presses her temples in frustration-

--Naraku and the Author perform an epic high five-

Inuyasha: K-kikyo...

Kagome: -tears up-

Kikyo: Seriously, you guys.

Kagome: It's going to take a whole chapter of me moping to get over this. -jumps down the well-

Inuyasha: I'm going to go do some cute dog stuff while she's there. -follows-

Naraku: ku ku ku.

Kikyo: man, fuck this character-driven shit, I'm going to get wasted.

Llama: -leers even more- I hear drunk girls have lower standards...heh hehe

Naraku: Oho, finally! my chance to woo the fair maiden Kikyo!

Llama: no, she's too good for you. and me. but I'm too bad to stay away. OOOOOHHH YEAH...

* * *

******&*&*&HIGH SCHOOL BLUES: Chapter One: Does He Even Notice Me?*********&*&*

by. Kawiaiheartsonnfire_kitsunesama (but u can just call me Kawi_Heart 3 3 3)

hope u like it lol :D :D :D

It was a white and snowy morning. Crystals fell from the heavens pure and white. Much like the sleeping beauty slumbering away in her modest bedroom, in her modest house, in her totally normal yet slightly similar to the author's neighborhood.

Kagome Sayushi got out of bed and took a look in the mirror. Her crystaline brown orbs of the deepest most passionate mahogany shone back at her sadly, reflecting the maelstrom of pain and despair playing out in her heart. _I just wish he noticed me. S_he sadly said to herself, tears sliding down her face in a near unstoppable deluge, each drop glistening like an icicle before sliding down her perfectly shaped cheek.

You see Kagome was the outcast in school, the object of everyone's envy, the artistic soul whom no one understood. She desperately wished that someone would appreciate her for her and see past all of the lies and rumors those jealous BITCHES at school spread about her.

She slowly combed her hair, it shone like a river of an obsidian sky stretching out into eternity. She slid on a pink laced blouse with pearly white buttons down the front, a pair of tight black jeans with a little skull surrounded by a heart surrounded by blue flames and a charm bracelet hanging out from the back pocket; it had gold and silver alternating links with various wildlife that could be found out in the african fields, only one was missing.

She looked at it with the tenderness of a choice sirloin steak and whispered, "I miss you so much, Dad, it's been so hard trying to fit into high school without you" another tear, sliding down her perfect, blemish free neck.

She quickly covered her extremely flattering blouse with a shaggy green turtleneck sweater. She liked to dress as she felt, ugly to everyone else, but beautiful to those who would truly appreciate her underneath. That is, if they could see past the SLANDEROUS LIES that the arch-whorebitch Kikyo always told. She slid on her baby blue puffy winter jacket with a hood with a drawstring with two white puffs at the end and donned her pink and black striped hat. She quickly slid on her blue with pink and white polka dot mittens, grabbed her "Nightmare before Christmas" Bag and went out the door. Her mother worked all of the time, leaving Kagome at home to fend for herself. Her grandfather used to live there, as well as her kid brother, but they had to be hospitalized recently due to a horrific car crash. Who knows how long it will take for them to recover? Another tear slid down her cheek. That horrific night seemed so familiar to the crash her father died in, only with less hyenas. She subconciously fiddled with her charm bracelet, a gift from her father who had done humanimaltarian work in the Serengeti wildlife preserve. She remembered the funeral all too clearly. But not clearly enough to warrant a flashback.

She sighed as she waited at her bus-stop, no one else shared it with her because there were no kids her age in the neighborhood, well, none that she'd like to be friends with anyway. Kikyo lived just down the street in her palatial compound and was taken to school in her own private jet. The bus came in, and as usual she was greeting with seven different paper wads as she boarded. She sighed to herself, and quietly prayed that the second half of her sophomore year would pass by with as little as pain as possible. She hunched in the seat right behind the bus driver and clutched her books tightly.

The main courtyard of the school looked as it ever did, with the various cliques in their various sections talking about their various bands and wearing their various clothes. She spotted Kikyo in the rich bitches corner (they liked to call themselves the elite class), Miroku in the nerd section, Shippou with the Scene kids; Naraku, Kagura, Byakuya, Hakudoshi, Kanna, Yura, Goshinki, the hamburgler in the gothic section all wearing nothing but jeans, fishnets and black t-shirts despite the below freezing conditions. And then she looked over at the jock section, and blushed. There was her secret love, Inuyasha, looking sullen in his red and white letterman's jacket. He was talking to two other jocks, Sango and Kouga about something, but he didn't seem too interested in it. Kagome just couldn't put her finger on why she had such a huge crush on him, it might have been because they were childhood friends, and that Inuyasha was always so protective of her and had a heart of gold. But that was just speculation, he probably didn't even know she existed. Anymore. Or something. She looked to the steps of the school and saw Inuyasha's older brother in the senior class. He was just as handsome as Inuyasha, but had an unbreakable heart of stone. That and there were rumors that he had killed a man before. So because of these reasons most everyone avoided him and let him be.

She was so caught up in her thinking that she didn't hear the footsteps behind her.

"Hello Kagome-chan" she heard a sarcastic voice say. She turned around to face a girl with similar features, but much more ugly even covered up in like five layers of her whore paste. She wore a totally slutty top cut down all the way to her midriff and a short skirt that barely hid her lacy underpants. ((Llama & Naraku: -drool-))

"Kikyo, please just leave me alone" Kagome cast her sad eyes down at the ground.

"Pfft. In case you haven't noticed, no one else will pay attention to you anyway, you should be flattered." she had a cruel glint in her eye. This was not going to be an easy semester. "Well, anyway, Kagome-honey-sweetie pie," she gestured towards still sullen Inuyasha, "I mad a little New Year's Resolution over break, and I've decided that I'm going to be dating that super hot most likely well endowed doggy-boy over there. And you know what I mean by _dating." _she walked off and Kagome once again hung her head in despair. Kikyo was like the school bicycle, and if she got her FILTHY WHORE PARTS near Inuyasha, he'd be tainted forever. For a moment she stood there dumbfounded, but then, out of her bleeding heart arose a flame she had never felt before. A voice in her soul became louder and louder until she could hear the words _the hell if I'm going to let that bitch near him!_ She knew she had to act, but she was just too afraid, too trampled and broken and generally fragile like a snowflake. But then a thought occurred to her: Miroku! He could help! She dashed off to the nerd's end of the courtyard.

_Kawi_Heart: OMG! can u beleive the nerve of that bitch omg i just want to hit her and disembowl her an leave her fat clay body parts strewn across shark infested waters_

_PLEEZZZZ R&R, I wont update untill i get 5 good review okkk? _

* * *

---the effects of the strange mushroom wear off, and the author finds herself once again in her dorm---

Llama: OOOhOOOO! KIKYO IN A LOWCUT TOP??!?!?!

Naraku: -rushes in- WHERE?!

Llama: -points at manuscript-

Naraku: -glances- words don't work for men, we need visual stimuli.

Llama: Oh, grow an imagination, won't you?

Kikyo: -silently stands behind them, holding a kitchen knife-

Llama: hey Kikyo, could you dress up like this description, Naraku's having some trouble visualizing.

In print, no one can here you scream.

* * *

I don't hate Kagome, but that doesn't mean I like her either. I just have this condition where I can't sympathize with the main characters of any story I read. It really is a drag to root for Chillingsworth, really, especially since he can kill with guilt, which is totally BADASS for an old man...but I digress. Too many fictions use Kagome as their personal ...um whatever she is when she's hated by everyone (pariah? Leper? Leprechaun?), which is kinda not like what's in the manga, but whatevs.

Oh, and if you find any typos, grammatical mistakes, whatnot, please tell me so I can correct them. Either that or become my beta reader -leers- I'm harmless. I just need proper socializing is all. -tries to smile but ends up twisting her face in to a horrifying shape-

Oh, and reviews of all kinds are welcome. I enjoy all feedback. Because it gets lonely sometimes in this closet I'm stuck in.


End file.
